How Unfortunate

 Where to begin on my unfortunate sad life. What to do. I'm so sad right now that I want to die. I can never imagine a happy ending for me like the movies I see or novels I read. I always lived in a fantasy that if I save myself from any kind of attachment and affair I may get awarded with the best fairy tale there is. That didn't happen. I'm living the life I dreaded. The life I thought I would never be a part of. I'm that life. I don't know where the bold, egoistic and confident girl went. I can't find her. She's gone. And I am left with her shattered pieces. Every piece hurt like hell, where it is pierced. I'm broken and there remained only a shell of the person who claimed to be the part of most epic love story there is. I'm living my fears. I'm not living in fears I'm breathing them and it's horrible and scary. I'm so scared that it hurts and I have to one to talk to that's why I'm writing because I think writing helps.  ...

 What is life if it isn't the sudden turns of events. I'm the girl who never got to say this to anyone that's why I'm writing it here. I am so unhappy and unstaisfied with my Life right now and most ironic thing about this is that I made my life this way. If only had I said no to my father about marriage. What if I had done that or that? There are so many ifs and maybes in my life right now that I'm starting to suffocate.  A girl living in fantasy was suddenly thrown into a practical and brutal life. What to do with my ambitious dreams and goals to conquer the world. Now I'm trash living in a trash world. I'm so confused and dejected right now. Why people dot let others live the way they want to. I don't want a child yet. How to tell others this? I have to idea. Just here venting. Just to write my frustrations away.